


The Queens to You

by queenofthemoment



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Flower Shop, Angst, Card Games, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fights, Fluff, Getting Back Together, Grant Ward Feels, Hurt/Comfort, Minor Character Death, Panic Attacks, Protective Grant Ward, SHIELD 616 | The Bus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-03
Updated: 2017-02-26
Packaged: 2018-09-20 09:01:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 17,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9483935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queenofthemoment/pseuds/queenofthemoment
Summary: When Coulson talked about his cellist I always thought maybe Ward had someone in his past that he loved. I wanted to show a more human side to Ward with this.This is set in season one. My timelines may be a little rough but this runs fairly parallel to the show with mostly original content. Also in my story SkyeWard isn't canon or even a possibility.Also this is my first fanfic so please be gentle.





	1. New Mission

Heavy breathing and the sounds of a punching bag being pounded echoed through the Bus. Agent Ward could still feel the effects of the Beserker Staff coursing through his veins and the punching wasn’t helping ease any of the anger he felt. Images of his childhood flashed through his mind’s eye. Fighting to protect his young brother, suffering at the hands of his parents, and the most prominent one – being forced to hurt his brother himself.   
“Ward.” Coulson’s voice broke into Ward’s mind. “I need you in my office.”  
Sweat poured off him as Ward slowed his breathing steadying the bag. “Give me a minute to clean up.”  
“Now. I’m debriefing the team in ten but I need you to know about this one first.”

…..

Coulson slid a file across his desk to Ward. As he opened it sorrow flashed through Ward’s eyes. Ward’s eyes drifted over the file of a woman he knew better than anyone.   
“You know her.” Coulson stated  
Ward felt his mouth dry up, the anger he felt earlier came in a new wave. This new anger directed at himself. “Is she in trouble? Is she hurt?” he lifted anxious eyes to Coulson’s face.  
Coulson watched the Agent’s face carefully during the exchange, “She’s fine. We need her help. And due to your history I need you running this op.”  
Ward nodded dumbly, his eyes flitting back to the picture in his hands.  
Coulson leaned forward in concern. It was rare to ever see something stump Ward. “Is this op going to be a problem?”  
Ward’s head snapped up from the file and his eyes cleared “No sir.”  
“Good.”  
“Will I be making contact with her?”  
“Eventually. We need her to gain access to a party in two weeks. We make contact today and get her comfortable. Then you’ll make contact. It’ll just be the two of you going in.”  
Ward started to ask another question but Coulson stopped him, “I’ll explain the details to the entire team. I brought you in early because I didn’t want you blindsided by this in front of everyone.”   
Ward nodded, “Thank you for that”

….

The team gathered around the large monitor. Skye glanced over Ward in concern. On the surface he seemed calm, but his eyes showed a wide range of emotion- anger, worry and concern, and what she couldn’t understand- sorrow.   
Images flew up on the monitor distracting her from Ward. Security camera pictures showed a woman in a flower shop working behind a counter.   
“This is Cidney Allan. She is a florist in D.C and we need to get her on our side.” Surveillance photos popped up of her on the street, making deliveries, reading in a park, coming out of a bank and coffee shops. “Miss Allan is one of the good guys but one of her costumers isn’t. Her best costumer is Project Centipedes’ main contributor financially.” A picture of an unimposing man in his mid sixties came up on screen. “Meet Jeffery Wilson. According to our surveillance Miss Allan is quite close to Mr. Wilson. Wilson buys from her every Thursday evening, every Sunday he takes Miss Allan to brunch, and every Tuesday she makes a special delivery of bouquets to his mansion. Our job is to contact her, gain her trust so she can help us. We need her to get into a party at the mansion in two weeks.”  
“Why can’t I just hack into the mansion’s system? Wouldn’t it be easier since we don’t know if we can trust her?”  
“Mr. Wilson is old fashioned. His security isn’t hackable and Miss Allan is the only person to come on the premises who doesn’t get checked by security. She has an invite to this party. We need her willing to have an Agent as her escort and we’ll have to hope they won’t check him”  
Understanding flashed through Ward’s face, “Will I be the escort?”   
“Yes. I’m not the right age for her, and I can’t send Fitz into the field.”   
“I’d be fine in the field” quipped Fitz  
Coulson smiled tightly “This is more up Ward’s alley.”  
“What are we going in for, Sir?”   
“We need to get into Wilson’s office and break into his safe to see if he has anything that can give us more information on Centipede.”  
“Is there evidence of anything related to Centipede in his office?” Agent May asks.   
“From our surveillance we believe so.” Coulson assured. “When Miss Allan makes a delivery we will have her plant a bug in the office to see if we can gather more Intel. We wouldn’t be doing this if we didn’t think there was information to be had. I won’t put this team or a civilian at risk for nothing. Simmons, I need you to make contact with Miss Allan. Get friendly.”   
“Skye would better.” Ward announced  
“What?” Skye and Simmons uttered together, one offended and one confused.   
“Simmons is friendly besides Skye isn’t trained.” Coulson argued.  
“Sir you asked me to run point of this because of my history with her. Trust me. She’ll connect better with Skye.”  
Skye watched the silent conversation going on between Ward and Coulson “I wouldn’t know what to say.” She confessed.  
“You’ll be fine. Just be yourself.” Ward looked to Coulson and Coulson nodded his affirmation. 

...

Skye placed her earpiece carefully and tested it. Ward approached her “Just relax. You’ll do just fine.”  
“So who is she?” Skye asked curiously “How can you be so sure she’ll like me better than Simmons?”  
“Because I know her.”   
“What was she your wife or something?” Skye stated sarcastically.   
More pain flooded Ward’s eyes and Skye’s softened “She was…wasn’t she?”  
“Fiancé” Ward’s voice cracked slightly.   
“I’m sorry…I didn’t mean to…what happened between you two?” Skye was shocked to see the tin man show any emotion.  
Ward ignored her inquiry, “Act like you just moved to town and you’re exploring the area. Pretend you still live in your van. The rest will fall into place.”   
“Do you think she knows Wilson is a bad guy?” Skye wondered  
He shook his head, “No…no way.”


	2. Visit to the Past

Five years earlier

Cidney was bent over a coffee table covered in books, her hair falling out of a messy bun, mug of coffee cold beside her. The lines on the books were starting to swirl and the words were beginning to float off the page as she sat twisting her ring. She groaned and rubbed her temples.   
“Have you been up all night?” Ward’s voice was still filled with sleep.   
Glancing at the clock she nodded, “Just wanted to make sure I know everything for tomorrow.”  
“If you don’t get some sleep you won’t be able to remember anything.” He sat beside her.   
“You’re right...just stressed...what if…what if I fail them Grant?” her right hand wandered to her ring.   
He took her hands pulling her to his side and she rested her head on his chest, “Then you’ll just be some dumb, small, business owner with a B.S in business management and in accounting.”  
“Grant” she started up annoyed and he shushed her.  
“I’m sorry” he soothed. “I know you want this.” She settled back down into his chest, “You were worried about all your exams these past two years. You’ll pass these too and get your Master’s.” he ran his fingers lightly over her back to calm her.  
He felt her growing heavier against him as she was slowly overtaken by sleep.   
“I know you’ll get this. And one day you’ll have your own business.” He kissed the top of her head, “I’m so proud of you, Cid.”  
“I love you, Grant.” Cidney whispered  
“I love you too.” He answered softly resting his chin on top her head till she fell asleep. Gently he scooped her into his arms and carried her to their bedroom. He laid her on the bed and pulled covers around her. After settling in on his side he draped his arm over her. She stirred and snuggled closer to him with a sigh of content.   
….  
“You should eat something” Ward prompted.   
“You know I can’t eat when I’m nervous.” She stopped twisting her ring and gathered her mess from the coffee table.  
He sighed and shook his head, “Come on. Five bites.” He pushed his bowl of oatmeal into her hands.   
Cidney wrinkled her nose, “I don’t like food that looks like it’s already been eaten.”  
Ward rolled his eyes, “Fine have some cereal. Or a granola bar.”  
She shoved a few grapes in her mouth.  
“You need more than that. You barely ate dinner last night.”   
She wrapped her arms around his waist stilling him, “Grant, I’m fine.” she spoke assuredly “I promise.” She added when he looked down at her doubtfully.   
“I don’t want you to make yourself sick.” He stroked her cheek.   
She smiled widely at him and took his face in her hands “I know...I’m sorry. How about three bites of the oatmeal?”  
“Four.” He countered, “And they can’t be small ones.”  
“You have yourself a deal.”  
She turned to the counter and he wrapped his arms around her as she ate. She showed how hungry she really was when she ate more than four bites. “How about” he kissed her shoulder “I take you to dinner tonight.” He kissed her neck, “To celebrate.”   
Cidney giggled as his breath tickled her neck and leaned into the affection, “I won’t have my results back by then.”   
“Who cares?” he whispered in her ear, “We can celebrate your hard work.” He squeezed her tighter.  
“Okay.” She turned in his arms and ran her hands over his chest, “My last exam starts at 3. I should be home by 5:15 at the latest.”  
“Taking your time on the exam I see.”  
“Better safe than sorry.” She replied  
“Agreed. Alright I’ll see you tonight. I’ll make the reservation for 6:30. Does that give you plenty of time?”   
“Mmm better make it seven.”  
“You seriously need that much time to get ready?”   
“Hey like I said better safe than sorry. Besides beauty takes time.”   
“You always look beautiful to me, sweetheart.”  
A blush crawled up her face and he laughed, “We’re engaged and I can still make you blush as easily as I did when we first started dating.”   
“Well Grant Ward you just have that affect on me.” She stood on her toes and pulled him down for a kiss, “I’ll see you tonight.”


	3. Girl with the Flowers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Skye meets Cidney

Present Day

The shop bell announcing a customer’s arrival surprised Cidney. She figured with all the rain not many people would be venturing into floral shops.   
“I’ll be with you in a minute.” Cidney continued working on a flower crown she was assembling. “Feel free to look around. Bouquets are in the back if you want something already put together. Or if you’re here for a wedding I have a portfolio here on the counter.”   
Skye observed the shop’s owner as she made her way deeper inside. Cidney didn’t really strike her as Ward’s type. Cidney seemed more the artsy type, which wasn’t what she would of pictured if she’d only read the file without images. The woman in front of her had long red hair that was up in a messy dutch braid, she had a hoop in the cartilage of her left ear and two studs in her right, sleeves of a purple flannel pushed up to elbows of her freckled arms; the paint on her nails was chipping, and she wore a delicate silver ring on each hand. From Skye’s view she looked a little shorter than herself. Nimble fingers flew as she assembled her project and her eyes shined with a look that probably made teachers wary of her. High cheek bones, not nearly as sharp as Ward’s, gave her an almost fairy look and a smile played gently on her lips giving her a friendly charm.   
“Thanks…I’m actually just exploring.” Skye’s eyes wandered around the shop  
“Aren’t you a brave soul! Not many people would explore in the rain.” Cidney smiled at her.  
“Well I just moved here. Figured I should get the lay of the land.”   
Cidney began filling the crown with greenery, “Where ya from?”  
“L.A” Skye wandered closer to the counter.  
Cidney let out a low whistle “Long drive. What brought you from sunny LA to the dreary east coast?”  
Skye leaned against the counter “Looking for a change.” Skye twitched when she heard Ward’s instructions in her ear, “Besides I thought it was time to see more of the states.”  
“Well I hope you took the scenic route. There isn’t much in the middle states.”  
Skye laughed, “Well I wish I had met you sooner. Then maybe the drive wouldn’t have been so boring.”  
Cidney let out a laugh and shook her head, “Gotta do your research before you start traveling. I’m all for being spontaneous and just seeing where the road takes you but it’s nice to have some views along the way.”  
“Can’t say I disagree with you.”  
A lull fell over the conversation and another customer entered. Skye immediately recognized Jeffery Wilson as he made his way to the back with the bouquets. He made his selection carefully and came up to the front. Cidney laid her work down to assist him.   
“I think Mrs. Wilson will like that one.” Cidney commented taking the flowers.  
“She always loves your bouquets, Cidney” Wilson turned to Skye, “Who’s your young friend?”  
“This is…I’m sorry I never got your name.”   
“Skye” Wilson took her hand and shook it.  
“Well my name is Jeffery Wilson. And this pretty young lady is Cidney Allan and she’s the best florist in town” Cidney blushed at the compliment.  
“It’s nice to meet you both.”  
Cidney handed Wilson his bouquet “Skye just moved here from LA.”  
“Well now! Are you here for school or family?”  
“No..” Skye shook her head, “Just thought it was time for a change.”  
“Where are you staying?”  
“I’m living out of my van.”  
“Cidney here used to live out of her van. Put herself through school while living in it and then she worked while traveling and saving up for this place.” Wilson smiled approvingly. “This young lady is one of the hardest workers I’ve ever seen.”  
“Mr. Wilson! I don’t think Skye wants to hear all of this.” Cidney declared blushing.  
“I’m sorry Skye.” Wilson apologized “I’m a lonely old man who likes to brag on the woman who is like the daughter he never had.” Cidney pursed her lips and he laughed, “She’s too modest to do it herself. You’ve come to the right place, Skye. You can have no finer friend than Cidney.” He leaned over the counter and kissed Cidney’s cheek, waved the bouquet with a florish and made his way to the door, “Enjoy the day ladies.”   
Skye laughed when the door closed, “You have friendly customers.”  
Cidney shook her head smiling; her cheeks still pink “Only Mr. Wilson is like that. But he’s my best customer.”  
“I can see that.”  
“When I opened this shop three years ago he told me he’d be my number one customer because he liked small business owners. Every Thursday like clockwork he’d come here and buy a bouquet for his wife. When I started doing weddings I did their niece’s and after that Mrs. Wilson would have me come every week to put flowers around their home.”  
“Are you close to them?”  
Cidney smiled fondly, “They treated me like their daughter. Even paid my hospital bills when I got in a car accident…wouldn’t take no for an answer. Mrs. Wilson passed away last year…and every Thursday he comes here and buys a bouquet like you just saw. Doesn’t matter if it’s raining, snowing or if a flash flood is coming. He always brings his wife flowers on Thursday night.”  
“Wow…can you imagine having someone love you like that?” Skye marveled and she saw pain flash through Cidney’s eyes.  
“A wonderful feeling…” she answered absently.   
Skye heard Ward in her ear again, “So how long did you live in your van?”   
Skye watched Cidney gather herself together, “I started when I was sixteen…ran away from foster care…no one really bothers looking for a kid nobody misses and I ended up in small town in Florida. You know those towns where everyone knows everyone?” Skye nodded, “Well that was this town. A mechanic there helped me out. Taught me everything he could about cars and I worked for him for a while and got my high school diploma. After that I went to Notre Dame where I got a double major then I took a year off to work and went to Boston on scholarships for my Masters. Then I just saved as much as I could until I could open this place. Now I just use the van for my deliveries.”   
Skye looked at her in wonder, “You did all that living out of your van? Did you work too?”  
“Yep. Made a lot of friends on the dorms so I could shower there. I worked a lot of odd jobs and during grad school I became a graduate assistant and they paid me for that. Lived out of the van until the summer after my first year of grad school and moved into an apartment for my second year.”   
“Must have felt weird after living in van for so long.”  
“Oh yes. It took a lot of adjusting.”   
“Why’d you move into an apartment? I mean if you liked living in your van and you were trying to save why bother?”   
“Did it for a guy. Took him two years to convince me to live in an apartment.” She confessed, “After I got my Masters I traveled the country picking up work where I could and ended up here.”   
“Guess the guy didn’t work out?” Skye heard Ward clear his throat in her ear.  
“No…” Cidney paused twisting her ring absent-mindedly. Skye watched so many emotions pass over her she instantly regretted saying anything related to Ward. Slowly Cidney pulled a cart over with bouquets that complimented the flower crown and placed it with them and wheeled it to a refrigerator.   
Skye heard Ward telling her to wrap up the conversation, “Those are beautiful” she indicated the flowers.”  
“Thank you.” a small crack in her voice, “They’re for a wedding tomorrow.” Cidney cleared her throat and turned back to Skye  
“A wedding on a Friday?”   
Cidney nodded knowingly “Bride decided on an outdoor wedding too and I don’t think the weather received the memo.”   
“An outdoor wedding in April?” Skye continued the gossip, “Seems a little early in the year.”  
“April showers bring May flowers. But she wouldn’t listen.”  
Skye smiled at her but noted the pain in Cidney’s eyes still lingered “Well I should probably get out of your hair since you probably have more arrangements to put together.”  
“It was wonderful to meet you Skye. I hope you’ll come by again soon.”  
“I will.” Skye made her way to the door when Cidney called her  
“Do you like hole in the wall restaurants?”  
“Yeah they’re my favorite.”   
“Well I don’t feel like cooking tonight and I hate eating alone so how about you come back here at eight and we can grab some dinner?”  
After Ward’s instructions, “I’d like that.”  
“Great! I’ll see you later.”  
“See ya.” As the door closed Cidney turned her back to the shop and let out a shaky breath. She’d spent years trying to forget about Grant and now so many emotions were pressing against the walls she’d built up. A single tear slipped down her face and she quickly wiped it away, “Get it together.” She whispered. 

…..  
Ward watched as she wiped the tear but turned away when Skye hopped into the passenger seat of the surveillance van. The team returned to the Bus to prep for that evening’s surveillance but Skye let her feelings be known when she pulled Ward aside.  
“What the hell did you do to her?”  
“Skye focus on the mission.” Ward started to push by her  
“Do you think I can’t see it? You may not talk about your feelings Ward but every time her name comes up I can see it hurts you. At first I thought she was going to be horrible! I thought that she did something to ruin everything but she’s amazing. And when she talked about you? I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone’s eyes look so pained…she looked so broken I..”  
“I broke her heart!” Ward interrupted. “Okay? It was me. It was my fault… I hurt her and I regret it every day.” His breathing was ragged and he was shaking with the anger he felt.


	4. Gone

Five Years Earlier

Cidney ran into the apartment and threw her bag on the couch. She was done. No more studying and no more tests.  
“Grant!” She called through the apartment, “You were right like always. The exams were way easier than I thought they’d be. The kings to you, darling!” She grabbed water from the fridge and noticed an unwashed bowl of oatmeal in the sink. She frowned at it since she was always the one leaving messes. “Grant?” she made her way to the bedroom and saw the bed was made and everything in order. Grant had even laid out one of her dresses. Beside it was a present wrapped in newspaper. Smiling she picked up the note beside it, ‘I can’t wait to see you dolled up. Love Grant P.S don’t you dare open your present early. And yes I know…I couldn’t remember where you put the wrapping paper. And I know you did great on your exams. Queens to you’. She made her way back to the kitchen laughing and figured he must have gotten distracted that morning. After washing the bowl she made her way to the shower.  
After slipping into her robe she began her post shower routine. Blow drying her hair she contemplated how she want to arrange her long hair. After completing a dutch braid across the crown of her head to keep her hair out of her face she curled the ends to give it some texture then moved onto makeup. Opening the medicine cabinet she noticed Grant's razor wasn't on its shelf. As she stepped away from the counter she glanced around and didn't see it anywhere. She checked the trash to make sure it hadn't fallen in. Frowning she checked under the sink and grew more confused when she saw his shaving bag was gone. Entering the bedroom Cidney scanned more carefully to see if anything else was missing. His watch wasn't on the dresser but that was normal for this time of day. Opening the top drawer she saw his undergarments were gone. Confusion washed over her as she continued quickly opening drawers and slamming them shut when they each yielded the result of missing clothes. Her breaths grew deeper as she tried to calm herself and her eyes misted and moving to the closet her tears began to fall. Her clothes hung opposite to an empty side and the military grade duffle bag Ward always kept in the back of the closet was missing like everything else. Twisting her ring she started blinking rapidly to stay the tears. In the living room and kitchen there was no evidence of a note being left for her, even the answering machine and her phone gave her no comfort for what she was seeing. Confusion and hurt and anger radiated from her when she dialed his number and received a recording stating the number was disconnected. She tried to rationalize everything she was seeing but only one thought screamed louder than any of the others. Grant had left. 

Present Day

“You didn’t even leave a note….” stated Skye, her own eyes misted.  
“I had my orders. Pack your gear and move onto the next location. Effective immediately.”  
“You couldn’t even take a second to write her something? Leave her a message on the phone?” Skye was practically screaming at him.  
“I wanted to….my SO ordered me not to…it was my job to disappear. I wasn’t supposed to ever have contact with her again.”  
Part of Skye wanted to just yell at him for hours. But she saw in his eyes he was already tearing himself apart, “Did she know? That you were an agent?”  
He shook his head “She had no idea…I was gathering info where I was planted…I needed a cover. A life, a place, a girl…at first that’s all she was…just a cover…oh but then...it didn’t take long for me to fall in love with her. I was selfish Skye…and that got her hurt. That’s why I went deeper being a specialist. I didn’t want to risk that again.”  
Skye squeezed his arm, “She seems like the forgiving type.”  
“I don’t deserve it. And I have no right to ask her for it.”


	5. Exposed

“Alright Skye you did great earlier today” Coulson assured as Skye walked back to the shop, “Enjoy dinner and some girl talk.”  
“That might be a little hard with two guys in my ear all night.”  
“Would you rather have Agent May?”  
“No you and Ward are fine.” She squeaked.  
As Skye neared the shop Cidney was already outside making sure the door was locked, “Perfect timing. Shall we?” Skye nodded, “Don’t worry it’s only a couple blocks from here.”  
The women started down the street and the conversation rolled on easily. Throughout the walk and dinner they exchanged stories about van life- shooing away people trying to get in, breaking down in the worst spot possible, nearly getting arrested for parking illegally and actually getting arrested for parking illegally. Skye wished Cidney was an agent on their team more than once during their evening. Watching her now she was still surprised her and Ward were engaged. They were so different. Cidney was loud and outgoing, free spirited, yet rooted at the same time. She knew when to fly and when to settle into her nest. Joy seemed to seep from her and Skye wanted to be near that light inside Cidney. Listening to her stories Skye just wanted to drink everything in.  
“And after that camping trip I was convinced that Bigfoot was not just some urban legend.”  
Both were laughing and Skye was wheezing at this point, “I can’t believe you and Ward were together.” Her tongue slipped while reaching for her water.  
Everyone listening in the surveillance van froze and exchanged glances. Skye winced when the words escaped her mouth.  
Cidney inhaled sharply, “What did you say?”  
Skye wanted to play it off, “Mmm?” she sipped her water.  
“You said Ward. How do you know about him? About us?” Cidney was growing suspicious, “Who are you? How do you…” she looked around uncomfortably, “Is he here?”  
“Tell her Skye…no use in hiding it now.” Grant’s voice crackled over coms. “Go easy...it’s going to be a lot to take in.”  
Skye leaned against the table, “I work with an organization called S.H.I.E.L.D. Have you heard of it?”  
Cidney racked her brain, “Umm…the battle of New York. They were apart of that…what does that have to do with Grant?”  
“He’s a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent. I work with him...we’re apart of a special team.”  
Cidney shook her head in disbelief, “What is he like Jason Bourne or something?”   
“Something like that.”   
“Why are you wasting your time with me? Does Grant have anything to do with this? Is he alright?”  
“We need your help…Ward didn’t set this up if that’s what you’re thinking. He’s just advising because he knows you.”  
“I’m just a normal person.” Cidney shrugged but Skye could tell she was trying to process everything, “Why would S.H.I.E.L.D want my help when they have people like the Avengers?”   
“If you’ll just come with me my boss will explain everything to you.”  
A halfhearted laugh escaped her lips, “Yeah I’m just going to go meet a boss with a woman I’ve just met because she says she knows my ex …that’s how kidnappings happen” she whispered to herself.  
“Then how about we meet here?” Coulson’s voice drew her attention, “Skye head out to the van. I’ll take it from here.”  
Cidney’s eyes scanned the room and over Coulson. “We’re not here to hurt you, Miss Allan. We just need your help.”  
Coulson went over the details of everything with her slowly after he gave her his badge to look over. He even showed her the file they had on Jeffery Wilson. When he finished, “I imagine this is a lot to take in.” He looked down at her hands to see her twisting the ring on the middle finger of her left hand.  
She drew in a shaky breath “I don’t know if I could be any help to you…I’m shaking right now…I can’t imagine trying to go into that party with one of your agents. I don’t know how I can get through the next two weeks acting normal around Mr. Wilson or any of my customers.”  
“You’ll be just fine. In the mean time we’d like to take you to our plane. We’ll teach you some basic self-defense, and one of my best agents will give you some tips to calm yourself.”  
Cidney worked to steady her breathing, “Okay…um could I pack a bag? And I’ll still need to be at my shop and make deliveries…I have a wedding tomorrow and..”  
“Don’t worry. Your work life won’t change; we just want to be able to prep you during your free time. It’s more convenient to have you with us. May I walk you home?” she nodded. 

….

Coulson led Cidney up the loading deck of the Bus. At the top stood the whole team minus one member.   
“I’d like you to meet my team, Miss Allan. You’ve met Skye, this is Agent May, Agent Simmons and Fitz.” Each took a turn to shake hands with Cidney, “FitzSimmons will show you where you’ll be bunking.”  
After the three departed, “Where’s Ward?” Coulson addressed May.  
“Your office. He didn’t want her to be overwhelmed.”   
…  
“Why weren’t you on the loading dock?”  
“Sir?” Ward turned as Coulson brushed by him, “This is a lot to take in on one night. I thought…”  
“What?” Coulson interrupted, “That we’d wait a few days till she settles and hit her again with you? I know this is a lot for her but now that she knows about Wilson I think it’d be better to get it over with.”  
“I can go down now”  
“No…it’s late and FitzSimmons are settling her in. They’re putting her in your bunk so you’ll have to find somewhere else to sleep.”  
Ward nodded, “Of course.”  
“Make sure you don’t contact her until I give the say so. Tomorrow you can talk to her. Then we’ll have May help her settle and then you’ll have to teach her some basic self-defense.”  
“Couldn’t May handle self-defense?” Ward hoped  
“You’ll be the one going in. I think it’d be best to try to build a little trust.”


	6. Face to Face

Ward sat in the cockpit for a few hours slipping in and out of sleep before he went down to be sure everyone on the Bus was asleep. Quietly he snuck into the kitchen to grab a sandwich. The Bus was quiet and Ward didn’t make any noise while assembling his midnight snack. Picking up his finished product he turned to head down to the loading dock to sleep in the van but stopped in his tracks when he saw her standing frozen in front of him. Her long hair was tousled and her face pale making her freckles and blue eyes stand out; her lips were quivering and he saw her eyes misting over. Neither of them spoke for what felt like forever and Ward shifted uncomfortable. Cidney suddenly snapped out of her frozen state and gasped for a breath of air. Her eyes darted around frantically and Ward watched her shaking hand wander to her ring.  
“What are you…why…you’re…you’re here…” Cidney managed to get out between shaking breaths, “Skye said you were on the team….you…um…Wilson…and now you’re here..” her breathing started becoming more erratic, “I can’t deal with you too right now.” She whispered quickly.  
Ward watched as her panic grew and at first he was shocked. De’d never seen her this shaken by anything, not even when they got held up one night coming home from a movie. He knew everything piled on was too much for her right now and finally snapped out of his own shock, “Cidney,” he moved towards her and took her hand placing it on his chest. Her eyes snapped up to his, searching them frantically, “I need you to breathe with me, okay? Cid, please you gotta breathe for me.” He took deep slow breaths and Cidney started to follow suit after a few. “There ya go.” He kept up the exaggerated breaths, “That’s my girl.” Cidney yanked her hand back  
“No.” her voice trembled but her breathing was steady, “You don’t get to call me that…not anymore...not after.” Her voice cracked  
Before Ward could say anything he heard Simmons, “Is everything alright?”   
Quickly followed by Fitz, “What’s all the commotion?”  
“I’m sorry…” Cidney started as a few tears streamed down her face  
“It’s my fault..” Ward cut her off, “Simmons you should probably check her before she goes back to bed.”   
Simmons nodded and put her hands on Cidney’s shoulders to lead her away “Come on. We’ll do a quick check, get you nice cup of tea and get you to bed.”  
“Ever see that happen before?” Fitz whispered when they were out of earshot.  
“Never.” Ward shook his head.   
“Alright I’ll let Simmons know incase Cidney doesn’t tell her.” He started to leave for the lab.  
“Fitz” the smaller man turned back, “Don’t let her give Cidney tea. She can’t stand it…only will drink it if she has a sore throat or when she’s trying to be polite.”  
Fitz smiled slightly and nodded.  
Grant sighed and hung his head, his sandwich no longer appealed to him, “Doesn’t seem like the day was ready to end.” Coulson stepped out of the shadows.  
“How long have you been standing there?”  
“When her attack started. You said she’s never done that before?”  
“Not that I’ve seen… but that was a long time ago.” Ward confessed.   
“Do you think that may happen again?”  
“Sir I’d like permission to remove myself from this mission.”  
“That doesn’t answer my question.”  
“She grew up in the system…bounced around from home to home. She has fear of abandonment...the last home she ran before that could happen. It took a long time before she actually believed I wouldn’t abandon her and that’s exactly what I did. I could see she was always battling between trusting me and holding back. I don’t know if she’ll do it again, but I know I triggered it. She was already overwhelmed…”  
“I know. I should have taken your advice. Which shows I need you to stay on.”  
“Give her a few days away from me. She needs…I want her to be able to process everything. From the Intel we gathered Wilson is like a father to her. We took that away. She’s smart… I can guarantee she’s already thought that if Wilson stays free and realizes she was apart of this op taking files or breaking into his office then she won’t be able to stay. We took her father figure and now we may take away her business. And then you throw in the guy who broke her heart?”  
“Anyone would break.” Coulson answered, “How are you doing in all this?”  
Ward rubbed his chin, “I never stopped loving her…” he confessed, “knowing I’m the cause of this? It’s eating me up inside.”  
“Maybe after sometime getting settled you two can hash some things out. If not I may need to bring in another agent for the party. We can’t have her breaking down in the middle of a mission.”   
“I don’t know if we can solve all our issues in a couple weeks.”  
“Not all. Just some.” 

….  
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake everyone…I just didn’t expect to see him.” Cidney’s face was red with embarrassment.   
“It’s alright.” Simmons assured her, “Have you ever had a panic attack before?”  
“Never. That’s why I feel so embarrassed…I normally handle things a lot better.”  
“If I found out my father figure was working with an evil corporation and then saw the man who broke my heart I think I’d react the same way.” Comforted Simmons.  
“How much...how much has Grant told you? About us?” Cidney looked a Simmons sheepishly. She didn’t know how close this team was or how long they’d been together but she knew she didn’t want them knowing more about Ward’s leaving than she did.  
“Nothing,” stated Fitz, “All he’s told me about you is that you hate tea.”  
“What?” Simmons looked as though she took this insult rather personally.  
Cidney looked between the two and opened her mouth to defend herself.  
“She’s right Jemma. It’s disgusting.” Fitz continued.   
“It’s delightful! It’s healthy and..”  
“And tastes like dirty leaves.” Interrupted Fitz.  
Cidney laughed so loudly they both stopped their arguing, “I’m sorry” she giggled, “I’m sorry, Simmons I have to agree with Fitz.”  
“Fine then off to bed with you; with NO tea.” Simmons waved her away dejectedly.   
Cidney made her way back to the bunk laughing to herself and passed the dark corner Ward had slipped into to avoid her detection. He watched as she stopped just inside the doorway of his small room. Standing there she looked sadly about the room. As soon as FitzSimmons had shown her where she’d be staying she knew it was his. Everything was in order and to his taste. The room smelled faintly of him; in some ways it was oddly comforting to have that familiar scent but it caused her to fall asleep thinking of him. Before she’d woken she’d dreamed of that day, the day he left was one of the worst days of her life. When she woke up she decided getting out of that space for a bit might help. She was already distraught and seeing him with the old wounds feeling raw was more than she could bare. Swallowing the lump in her throat she turned to close the door but stopped when she saw him standing there. Fresh tears escaped and she shook her head at him sliding the door closed.


	7. Trust

Four Days Later

Cidney looked around Coulson’s office as she waited for him to come in for their meeting. Noting all his old relics she smiled, vintage things always fascinated her and Coulson had a collection that she could look at for a long time.

“I see you admire my collection” Coulson smiled at her, “That or you think I’m crazy.”

“You were right with your first guess.” Cidney answered sitting.

Coulson sat leaning on the edge of his desk, “Now what was it you wanted to ask me?”

“I know you said it’s my job to get an agent in. What if he gets caught? Or even if he doesn’t your agent will be the only person at this party that Wilson doesn’t know personally. Wilson trusts me so I don’t think you’ll have any problem with your agent getting in…but when he finds out that information is missing? That agent will be his first suspect. And me.” Cidney paused, “I guess what I’m trying to say is…what happens to me when Wilson finds out?” 

Coulson looked at her sadly, “I fought to only take pictures of the evidence in the office…but S.H.I.E.L.D wants the actual copies. Because of that...you’ll have to relocate.”   
Cidney nodded, she’d figured just as much but hearing it out loud still felt like a blow. “Your shop is at a good location for surveillance. S.H.I.E.L.D wants to buy it.” He handed her a check with an offer on it. “We’ll also help get you get settled wherever you want to go. It doesn’t have to be in the states either. I hear you’re fluent in French?”

Taking the check Cidney looked at it with disbelief, “I…”

“You don’t have to give me an answer right now. Think it over for a few days and get back to me.” 

She laid the check on the desk and nodded dumbly. Wandering down to her bunk she slid the door closed and turned pressing her back against it. Opening her eyes she saw Ward standing by the nightstand with a guilty expression. “I’m sorry I’ll leave.”

“Cidney no it’s fine. Stay… I shouldn’t even be in here while it’s yours.” He brushed by her but stopped when he felt her hand on his arm.

“Can I ask you something?” her eyes flickered from the ground to him.

“Anything.” She pulled him back to the bed where they both sat. He waited patiently for her to continue.

“Were you always an agent? While we were together?” her voice sounded so small to him.

“Yes.” 

She nodded, “After you left…I tried looking for you…pathetic I know..”

“No.” he stopped her, “You could never be pathetic.”

She looked into his eyes steadily, “I was so angry…I imagined so many different scenarios for when I saw you again. A month after you left…when I posted on Craigslist for someone to take over the lease and to sell most our things a man came to the apartment. He said his name was Garrett and he told me to stop looking for you. Said that you’d   
moved on and I needed to do the same.” She averted his gaze, “Left me a picture of you…you and another woman.” She fiddled with her ring.

Grant looked at her with guilt stricken eyes, “You have to believe me,” he lifted her chin, “I didn’t leave you for another woman. I had orders to leave for my next assignment immediately. I wanted to leave you something…but I couldn’t. I had to disappear.” 

She searched his face and she believed what he told her, “Was it real? Those three years? Or did you just use me for a cover?” She hated herself for asking. Most of her knew he really loved her, but a small part needed to hear that from him. 

Ward decided that he needed to rebuilt trust. And that meant telling her the truth, “At first you were a cover” She inhaled sharply, “But after we were dating for a couple months that changed. Remember that day you came over after insisting you help me paint the living room? Even after I told you I didn’t need help.”

She smiled at the memory, “I remember.”

“At first I didn’t want you there…I was trying to keep myself detached and I thought the less time I spent with you would help that and I knew it was supposed to snow that evening. But you were stubborn. You brought pizza and we finished painting around 10pm. And during that time the snowstorm started. I knew I’d be a jerk to make you walk 20 blocks in a blizzard…and apart of me was glad you were snowed in with me. We made a blanket fort in the den and you made your peppermint hot chocolate; then we watched movies late into the night. The next day the roads were shut down and the city broke its record for the biggest snow it’d ever had. After you dragged me out into the snow and started a snow ball fight.” He shook his head and smiled, “I thought you looked so beautiful out there…snow in your hair,” he looked at her fondly, “and I started to realize I was in trouble...we came back in and played board games and cards all day in the fort…. and I knew…that night I knew that mission would be the hardest I’d ever have. Because when it was all over I’d have to leave you.” 

“Those few days were always one of my favorite memories.”

Grant gave her a half smile, “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Cid…we had something…and I screwed it up.”

She returned a sad smile, “It’s nice to know why now. And I forgive you…” he looked at her surprised, “I’m still hurt don’t get me wrong or even started on the trust issues…it’ll take time. But I do forgive you, Grant.” 

He let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding and a piece of him felt hope.

“I never opened that present you left me. While I lived in my van I kept it in the glove compartment. It’s sitting on a bookshelf in my apartment now.” 

“I always thought you’d throw it away.” 

“I almost did…so many times. But I never could…no idea why it’s just every time I went to I couldn’t do it. Never could open it either.”

Ward didn’t press for an explanation. “I know you’d like it.” 

“I know I would. So how did Coulson know I speak French?” she quickly changed the subject.

“He’s looking for potential locations for a new shop. He asked if there was anywhere in particular you’d like to live. I mentioned you’d always wanted to live in France; so much so that you learned the language.”

She smiled. A real smile. The first he’d seen in a long time. He hoped there’d be more. “You’re good at remembering details. Course I guess that’s part of being an agent.”

“It was easy to remember details about you.” 

Her eyes softened “Can you take me to my apartment?” 

….  
Sitting on the couch Cidney tightly held the gift. The paper was faded and slightly worn but there were no tears. Over the last five years she’d taken good care of it. 

“You don’t have to open it.”

“I want to.” She tore the paper and gasped when she saw what it was, “Oh Grant..”

Reading was always one of her favorite past times; her favorite book was Little Men by Louisa May Alcott and she’d read it every summer since she was fourteen. She had an old paperback of the book that was worn from the countless page turning. Over time she’d collected the first editions of all Alcott’s books except she could never find Little Men; Ward did.   
Ward watched her as she gently ran her fingertips over the cover and smiled. He’d waited five years to see the smile the gift brought. It was bittersweet.

“Grant,” she breathed out “It’s beautiful. How’d you ever find it?”

“I visited a lot of bookstores.”

“Thank you!” she threw her arms around his neck, “Thank you so much. I love it”

He held her and for a moment it felt like those five years were just a bad dream; until she pulled away.

“It’s getting late. We should probably head back to the plane.” 

The pair walked silently for a few blocks until Cidney started chatting. Soon enough they began talking like old times. Some memories came up, and then they talked about the future- theirs hopes and dreams. Not much had changed but at the same time everything had. Cidney’s hand rested in the crook of Ward’s arm and they walked slowly. They were only halfway back when the rain started. Laughing the two scurried to a small overhang where they pressed together to stay dry. Ward gazed at the woman in front of him as she watched the rain falling with a smile. Small wet strands of red hair clung to edges of her face, her eyes shone brightly and her cheeks were rosy. She felt his gaze on her and looked up at him. Warmth spread through her, so much of her loved feeling him beside her, wrapped in his warm embrace and his scent was comforting but a small part of distrust nagged at her as he slowly leaned down to her. Ignoring the small feeling she met him halfway.


	8. Discover

Two days later Cidney’s basic training was in full swing. The plane’s loading dock was open letting the early morning fresh air in and Ward was having Cidney work the punching bag. After nearly an hour she was really starting to wonder what the point of her doing it was but she kept her mouth shut. Finally Ward allowed her a water break and moved on to teaching her how to disarm someone. After walking her through the steps a few times he stepped back and pointed the gun at her. “Disarm me.”  
She glared at him. She wasn’t fond of him when he slipped into training mode. Grabbing the gun and turning she tried to force the gun from his hand but somewhere along the line, she wasn’t sure where, she didn’t get the move quite right. He pulled her into his chest and put the gun to her head. She knew it wasn’t loaded, it didn’t even have a clip in, but she still hated the feeling. “Again.” He set himself up. Over and over she tried to get it but it didn’t seem to be clicking. Not when her mind was elsewhere.  
“Focus Cidney. You need to get this right.” Ward was starting to get annoyed. It was like she wasn’t even trying.  
“What’s the point of this? You’ll be in there with me I don-“  
“You need to be able to protect yourself. Knowing this could make the difference between you having control of the situation or one of us being dead.”  
“Even if I get the gun Grant I couldn’t use it!” she grit her teeth, “I just…I need a break.”  
She started for the stairs.  
“Don’t just quit.” He grabbed her arm.  
“I’m not quitting, Grant. I need a moment” she strained against his hold.  
“Cidney come on you’re not even trying. You-“  
“Grant!” Cidney yelled turning to face him and FitzSimmons both looked over from the work and Cidney was shaking, “I said I need a break.” She tore her arm away and ran up the stairs. Ward turned and punched the bag. He went down the loading dock. Air, he needed fresh air…that plane was starting to feel far too crowded. After kissing Cidney that night in the rain things seemed to be growing even more tense between them. Both were holding back, her because he’d left once before and him because he knew he’d have to leave again. Nothing would ever be the same; he’d shattered that hope.   
Cidney made her way straight down the ramp and past Ward “Where are you going?”  
Anger returned when he didn’t receive an answer, she just kept walking. Frustrated he went back to the plane to finish his work out. After getting cleaned up he discovered that Cidney still hadn’t come back.   
“It’s too early for her shop to be open,” reasoned Skye “Want me to track her phone?”  
Ward hated his answer, “Do it.”  
Skye had her location in a matter of seconds, “She’s at a cemetery.”   
Ward gave her a puzzled look but headed directly to Cidney’s location.  
…..

Cidney knelt in front of a small headstone and ran her hand over it clearing away debris. “I’m sorry I’ve been away so long, champ.” She took away the flowers that’d long since faded, “Mamas here now.” She placed fresh flowers on the grave of her son.   
She sat there quietly for a long time and was only disturbed when she heard footsteps behind her. Turning she saw Ward standing there.  
“Are you alright?” He sat beside her and looked at the stone. Daniel Champion Allan beloved son February 3 2009- June 15, 2011. Reading the dates his brain starting running a million miles a minute. “Was he?” he couldn’t finish the sentence.   
Cidney nodded, “He was just like you. In everything really…he was quiet but I could tell he was always taking in everything around him…. very sneaky too. Scared me when we played hide and seek for the first time. Loved it when I told him stories or read to him. Never enjoyed playing with the kids his age; he liked following the older boys. There was a church that helped me for a while…there was a group of boys around 16 and 17 that would help me around the apartment… fixed things the landlord wouldn’t. Watch Danny. They were always so good to him.”  
He stared at the grave blankly, “What happened?”  
She steadied herself; “Almost two years ago I took Danny to the beach for the first time. Mr. Wilson had me borrow his car since my van broke down that morning…and I didn’t want to disappoint Danny. He’d been babbling about the beach for days after I told him” Tears streamed down her face, “We were driving home…just twenty minutes…twenty more minutes till we’d be home and we got hit. A drunk driver ran a red light and hit the driver’s side. Most of the impact was on the back of the car. He… his little body.” She was barely getting the words out and her voice trembled. “There was so much blood…I barely recognized him…my poor little baby. We’d never of been driving that night if I’d just waited to take him to the beach.” Sobs wracked her body and Ward hugged her tightly. His jaw was clenched and his eyes full of tears.  
“It wasn’t your fault. You can’t blame yourself.” His voice was rough with grief for a child he never knew.   
He continued to hold her till her sobs changed to sniffles and the sniffles turned to deep breaths she used to calm down. She pulled away and wiped her red eyes, “I was trying to figure out a way to tell you. I didn’t want it to be like this.”   
“No…I’m glad you told me about him.” His voice quavered.  
Reaching into her bag she pulled out a picture and handed it to Ward.  
Cidney was holding Danny in front of her smiling brightly and Danny’s attention was directed at a flower he was was reaching for outside of his mother’s shop. “He was eighteen months when I opened the shop.”   
Ward stared at the picture and a smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. Danny looked just like him except he had his mother’s eyes. “Did you know yet? When I left?”  
She shook her head, “I didn’t know until July. Two months pregnant and I thought I was just getting fat.” She choked out a laugh.  
“You? Never.” He gently grazed his hand over her stomach. “Could I see more pictures of him sometime?”  
After checking her watch she kissed her fingertips and pressed them to the headstone. Taking Ward’s hand she led him away from the small grave.   
Once arriving at her apartment she pulled a wooden box from a shelf, motioning Ward to join her on the couch they sat and sifted through pictures. Cidney loved photos which gave Ward the chance to see his son at all stages of life.   
“I have most of them backed up on my computer and on a hard drive…if there are any you want copies of I can get them printed for you.”  
If he was being honest he wanted to have all of them. But even more than that he wished these pictures of memories were actual memories for him. Sorting through the pictures he picked out five he liked the most, the first one was of Danny at two years drowning in a sweatshirt that Ward recognized as one that Cidney had stolen from him about six years ago. He was holding his mother’s old glasses up to his face and squinting through them. The second was of him and Cidney in the hospital after he was born, her hair was thrown up in a bun and she wore a huge smile as he was snuggled against her chest. In the third picture Danny sat on the counter in the flower shop holding a carnation out to his mother. His eyes were wide with delight in the fourth as he sat in his mother’s lap tasting her ice cream cone at the age of eighteen months. The fifth was his favorite. Danny held Cidney’s face between his tiny hands and his lips were pressed against the tip of her nose.   
“You two looked happy together.” His voice laced with regret.  
“He was my sunshine. There were times it was hard to look at him…it was almost painful how much he was like you…but he was a good thing that came out of all that pain.”  
“You’re the strongest person I know.” She pursed her lips at him.  
“I’m not strong. Some days I feel like I’m barely hanging on…sometimes I don’t even know what I’m hanging on to. Besides strong people don’t have panic attacks when they see their ex.”  
“I don’t think it’s everyday people find out their father figure works with bad guys, sees and has to work with their ex, or finds out they’ll have to relocate. You’ve handled a lot this past week and you’ve handled it well. I mean that. Queens to you.”  
She gave him a small smile “I’m sorry I stormed out during training.”  
“I should have taken it easier on you. You’re not an agent nor are you trying to become one. I’m sorry I went to far.”  
“You didn’t. It was just getting overwhelming. When you pressed the gun to my head I…I knew you wouldn’t hurt me but…it just made it all so real and I pictured Wilson holding a gun to my head…and I just…”  
“Hey,” he cupped her face; “I’m not letting anything happen to you in there, okay? I will protect you. And part of protecting you is making sure you can keep yourself safe for when I’m not right next to you.”  
“Grant I still can’t…I couldn’t shoot anyone.”  
“You don’t have to. Taking the gun is just to make sure you’re in control of the situation. You’ve always been a confident person. So confident I believe you even when you don’t have a clue what you’re talking about. The point is you just have to be confident enough to make them think you’ll use it. Control the situation until I can get to you.”


	9. Queens Always to You

Cidney smiled as Skye entered the shop. From the beginning she’d taken a liking to Skye, maybe because they both had so much in common.   
“What brings you out here?”  
“Needed to get away from the plane. Usually we’ve completed our mission after being grounded this long.”  
Cidney nodded in understanding. “Hurry up and wait. That’s what this must seem like for all of you.”  
“How are you doing with all this?” Skye followed Cidney to the back of the shop as she added bouquets to her display.  
“I think if one more person asks me that,” Cidney stopped arranging the bouquets and turned to Skye, “I’m going to blow a fuse. It’s like everyone is just sitting waiting for me to break again.” She turned back to the flowers.  
“Sorry.”  
“No more apologies please, I’m begging you Skye. I think this is uncomfortable for everyone right now…not just Grant and I. Don’t try to deny it, I see all you watching me like I’m going to shatter at any moment. Point is Skye I think we could be good friends…maybe the rest of the team too…I’d really like to give that a shot without my history with Grant getting in the way.”   
“Okay. You’re right…”  
“Good!” Cidney nodded her head decidedly and led Skye back behind the counter and had her sit, “Now tell me about yourself.”   
“Where do you want me to start?” Skye suddenly felt very shy.  
“Anywhere you want.” She continued when Skye shot her a puzzled look, “Here I’ll start. When I was living in my van one of my favorite things to do was just drive late into the night. I’d stop if I found an open field and just climb up onto the roof to look at the stars. I think I like it better away from the cities…it’s harder to see the stars here.”  
“There was this hillside outside of the city that I’d drive to when I lived in my van. It was secluded and I liked to sit and stare at the city all lit up at night…made me feel less alone…” Skye recalled  
“I’d love to see it one day.” Cidney squeezed Skye’s hand.  
Skye looked around the shop “How’d you do it?” Skye marveled, “I..I never felt like I belonged anywhere till I found SHIELD. It’s been a family I never had…I just always bounced through life…and you’ve made something…you didn’t need a secret organization to come rescue you.”  
“I’ve spent most of my life longing for a team like you have.” Cidney smiled at Skye’s expression, “Pretty easy to look at someone else’s life and think they have everything together isn’t it? You did your best with the talents you have, I did my best with mine. I can say for sure that I didn’t make many lasting relationships…the few I hav-had” She corrected herself “…well they all turned out to not be who I thought they were.”  
“I know Ward isn’t who you thought he was…but he loves you. We can all see it when he looks at you.”  
“You all think very highly of him don’t you?”  
“I know he hurt you…but I also know he’s sorry. He’s a good man.” Skye felt the need to advocate for Ward.  
“I know…I saw enough of him to know he’s good. I just don’t want to let him back in for it to happen all over again.  
………

Coulson watched as Cidney sat in front of him fiddling with her ring. Waiting patiently for an answer he sighed inwardly at her growing distress.  
“Is there another way? There has to be another way your team can get what they need without me.” The reality of starting over somewhere else was becoming real as the mission quickly approached. She didn’t want to start over. Not anymore, she was tired of running away.  
“I wish there was. We can’t send in our own agents without a guest to help us. Unless you know of someone else we could convince to help us that security won’t check.”  
“No. I don’t know anyone.”  
“I’m sorry. Believe me I wish we could just take pictures of the evidence…but SHIELD wants the copies.”  
“Why not just arrest him?” she murmured.  
“Not our orders.” He looked at her sympathetically. “I know this is hard for you. I wish there was another way. The only thing I can do is offer my help in getting you a new life somewhere else.”  
“I…I’m booked for weddings…I don’t have connections anywhere.”  
“We’ll take care of all that.” He assured  
“Charleston.” She whispered so softly Coulson almost didn’t hear her.  
“West Virginia?”  
She let out a broken laugh, “No, South Carolina. If I have to move…I want Charleston South Carolina.”  
“South Carolina it is. Skye’s been setting you up with a new identity; new birth certificate, driver’s license, social security. After the mission Cidney Allan will no longer exist. Everything will be erased.  
“My degrees?” Cidney looked at him dejectedly.  
“I’ll have Skye make some up for you.” He promised “Now that we have a place Skye can finish everything. We’ll need a picture for your photo id.”  
“Can’t you just use my old-“ understanding crossed her face, “I’m changing my look too…”  
“Haircut maybe a dye too.”  
Her fingers stroked the ends of her long hair. Sure she’d thought about cutting it, it was definitely long enough to donate. But dye it? That was something she was not all for.  
He saw her uneasiness growing, “May just some cool highlights?” He suggested.  
Cidney stood abruptly and left Coulson’s office. She needed off the plane, away from everyone to process this. She drew the attention of the team as she passed through the main area and ran down to the lab. The thought that they were getting to see her fall apart again crossed her mind. Ward found her sitting at the end of the loading dock watching the sunset. Sitting beside her he didn’t even get a chance to ask if she was okay.  
“How’d you do it? H..how did you just leave?” she swallowed the lump forming in her throat. “You were gone in a day…I can’t do that. I can’t…I don’t know how to just leave everything I’ve worked for….leave Danny.” She whispered  
Ward pulled her into his side and she buried her head in the crook of his neck and clung to the front of his shirt. Gently he ran his hand over her arm, “I knew I had to follow orders. I told myself I’d be selfish if I stayed…I had to go…if I didn’t I’d fail a lot of people and some would get hurt.”  
“I’m not an agent, Grant.”  
“I know…but you can help a lot of agents with their job by completing this mission.”  
“Will this mission even help people? Civilians?”  
Her voice was shaky and Ward felt her tears soaking through his shirt, “This mission is important. It can save a lot of people. We need your help to do that.” Ward thumbed away her tears.  
“I can’t…I can’t do this.” She mumbled  
He pulled away and held her in front of him, his hand cupping her face, “Yes you can. I know you’re terrified. I know you wish all this never happened and so do I. You deserve to be happy. But I know you, Cid. I know you’ll still be incredible wherever you go. You’ll make your business even better and I know you’ll do this mission.”  
“How? How do you know?”  
“Because you have a heart of gold. You’ve always had a desire to help people. And I know you’ll be great because you always are. You conquer everything you try. Queens always to you. No contest.”


	10. Cards

“Gin Rummy!” Cidney declared slapping down her cards.  
“No.” Fitz looked at the ace she’d played, “You still have a card left. Ace isn’t high.”  
“Yes it is.”  
“No you play King high.”  
“Careful Fitz. She won’t go down easy when it comes to aces being high.” Ward sat in a chair near the two players.  
“You stay out of this!” she pointed at Ward accusingly, “You don’t play right either.”  
“See what I mean?” Ward directed to Fitz.  
“Some shmuck tells you King is high and suddenly you know how to play the game I taught you. Ruined game night.”  
“See Fitz this why I stopped playing cards with her.”  
“Yeah you stick to boring old board games.”  
“At least the rules are printed and in the box. That way you can’t claim you found different variations online.” Grant nearly came out of his seat to defend his board games.  
“There are different ways to play, Grant!” she insisted.  
“Fine how about we play poker?” Fitz offered. He wanted to distract her from the mission the next day and help her relax.  
“Deal.” She gathered the cards and began to shuffle, “Deal you in, Grant?”  
“No thanks I’ve lost enough money to you.”   
“Ever play Texas Hold ‘Em, Fitz?” she smiled slyly  
Fitz looked between the two of them and walked away, “I’m not losing all my money to a soulless ginger.” He muttered.   
“Awww Fitz come on! I’ll play nice! We can bet candy or something.” Fitz waved her off. “Coward!!” she hollered after him.  
She held up the deck and bent them slightly, “Hey Grant? Wanna play 52 pick up?” she taunted.  
He shot daggers at her and she chuckled softly to herself, “Couldn’t believe it when you agreed that day we were snowed in. Twenty-five years old and you didn’t have a clue.”   
He rolled his eyes at the memory and she began shuffling the cards absently. “Grant?”  
“Mm?”  
“Can I ask you something?”  
He leaned forward giving her his full attention, “You don’t ever have to ask me that question. I’ll tell you anything you want to know. I promise.”  
She chewed her lip nervously, “Did you…when we were together and you told me about yourself did you lie? I mean obviously your job wasn’t real but the things about you…were they real? Or were they just all lies?”  
“What made you ask that?”  
“You’re so different…I’ve told them some stories about us and every time someone says “that doesn’t sound like Ward”… You still know me better than anyone. You sent in Skye because you knew she’d connect with me best, you remembered little details like the tea, and the card games and-“  
“The fact that you twist whatever ring is on your left hand when you’re nervous or stressed.” He stated looking at her hand as it stilled, “Or that you don’t really like coffee you just like cream with a little coffee but you always liked it when I’d make a pot because you love the smell of it. Peppermint hot chocolate is your warm drink of choice. You’re favorite season is fall because you love it when the leaves change and the air gets crisp; you love snow but you hate winter because the cold hurts the shoulder that popped out of place when you fell out of a tree at fifteen. You’re the most compassionate, understanding, gentlest person I’ve ever met. You showed so much of yourself to me…I’d never had anyone give so much trust and care to me...you’re the only person who made me want to talk about my past and my future…my hopes and dreams. So everything I told you, everything about my childhood, about the darkest parts of myself and everything I want to be one day was all true. I never lied when I told you about myself. We’re a new team and we’re all still getting a feel for each other…I’ve been a specialist these past five years. Which means I worked alone mostly and my people skills are rusty. Cold and calculated, that was my job. I’m still warming up to them …and you? I’ve never fully opened myself up to anyone but you ”   
“I’m sorry.”  
“For what?”  
“Not trusting you-“  
“You have good reason not to trust me.”  
“I know...but tomorrow we’re going in together. And I have to trust you completely.”  
“And I’ll have to trust you.” he took her hand, “I trust you, Cid. Just keep doing what you’ve been doing these past two weeks and you’ll do great tomorrow. And if you start feeling nervous just remember I’m there. I’ll protect you.”  
She threw her arms around his neck and pulled him tightly to her. A nervous sigh escaped her and he squeezed her reassuringly. “I have something for you.” she pulled back and fished into her bag, “I left early for work today so I could get you these.” She held out the five pictures he’d picked out with a few others that she selected.  
Calloused fingers ran over the new photos- Danny laughing on a swing, sitting in the snow and getting a taste of the white treat. In the third Cidney held him perched on her hip while blowing bubbles; Danny had a cheesy grin on his face and his hand were frozen as he reached out to pop the bubbles.   
“I had those on my computer and thought you might like them.”  
“Thank you.” he pulled her to him and kissed her temple, “You didn’t have to let me get to see him. Thank you for doing that for me.”


	11. The Party

Ward pulled at his bow tie in the stop and go line for the valet; he could swear the tie got tighter every time he tugged at it.  
“You act like you’ve never worn a tie before.” Cidney teased  
“I think you tied it too tight.” He complained, “Why is this thing so formal? Its hot outside.” He was right. It was the beginning of May now and the weather was warmer than usual.  
“Out of the two of us you shouldn’t be the one complaining about their wardrobe.” Her long silver dress hugged every curve she had and the heels added to the mix made her movements far slower than she cared for.  
“At least your dress is sleeveless.”  
“We’ll be inside. Wilson does have air conditioning.” She comforted, “And at least your shoes are flat and you can move freely!” she tried flexing her feet inside the three inches heels strapped to them.  
“Well at least you can breathe.” He made a last tug at the tie.  
“Oh that is highly debatable.” She slid out of the car gracefully when the valet opened her door.   
….  
“They sound like an old married couple.” May commented as the team listened over the earpieces Ward and Cidney wore.   
Simmons smiled, “I think they’re cute together.” Everyone turned at her words, “What? They are.”  
Coulson smiled softly, “Good we’ve established they’re a nice couple. Agent May, is the back up team locked and loaded?”  
“Ready to go if Ward gives the word.”  
“Everyone be on you’re A-game. We have a civilian going in so be ready.”  
….

Ward came around placing his hand on the small of Cidney’s back as they approached the entrance. This was the moment of truth. Ward was carrying a single pistol and if they caught that everything was over.  
“Miss Allan,” the man Cidney recognized as Wilson’s head of security greeted her. “Good to see you as always.”  
She smiled politely at him and started to answer but was interrupted by Wilson himself. “I see my favorite guest has arrived.” He pulled her into a hug that she was forced to return. “Is this young man with you?” he asked with his arm draped around her shoulders.  
“Yes he is. Mr. Wilson I’d like you to meet Grant. Grant this is Mr. Wilson.”  
Ward stepped forward and shook Wilson’s hand, “Nice to meet you, Sir. Cidney speaks of you often.”  
“I’m flattered,” Cidney slipped from under his arm and moved beside Ward, “You have a good handshake, son. I like that.” Ward gave him a tight smile, “Cidney may I steal Grant? It’ll just be a moment I promise.”  
“How could I say no?”  
“Good!” Wilson slapped Ward’s back, “Go inside and try the punch. I’ll have him back to you soon.”  
Cidney let out a breath. Ward and Wilson alone wasn’t what she’d hoped for but she’d never spoken of Ward to anyone, even to Wilson; she knew there wouldn’t be a chance of him knowing who Ward was; the distraction had gotten Ward out of a security check and she was all for the small victories.  
…

Wilson guided Ward through the grounds much to his dismay. Wearing a black monkey suit and walking around in the sun was not on top of Ward’s to do list. Resisting tugging on his tie Ward waited for Wilson to start talking, there was no way he’d take him aside to just show him around; not unless he knew something.   
“How long have you and Cidney been together?”  
There it is- Ward thought. Finally he knew what was going on, “We met about eight years ago and were close for a while. But work caused us to lose connection. Recently we crossed paths again and we decided to give it another shot.”  
They’d rounded their way to the back and gazed at the party inside. Air conditioning- Ward thought to himself till he saw Cidney. She looked beautiful in the silver dress with her hair done in a half up do. The dress and makeup made her blue eyes pop and her hair looked redder than normal. Ward could truthfully say a woman never took his breath away; until he met her.  
Wilson watched as Ward’s eyes grazed over Cidney as she chatted with an older woman.  
“Take some advice from an old man, Grant. You find a woman like that you hold on with everything you have. Cidney’s had a lot of pain in her life. More than one should ever know…I hope that’ll you’ll help ease some of that pain for her…and not be the cause of it.”  
Ward slowed thickly, “She deserves the world.”

….

Cidney started when she felt an arm snake its way around her waist, “How’s the punch?”  
“Not what it was cracked up to be.” She told Ward, “How was your little chat? Is everything okay?”  
“If it wasn’t we wouldn’t be standing here talking. Trust me.” Ward glanced around the room, “Care to dance?” he offered her his hand  
Cidney set her punch aside and allowed Ward to led her out to the floor. “What did Wilson want?” she pried.  
Gazing into her eyes he knew he wouldn’t be able to skirt around this, he’d also promised to tell her the truth about things, “I got my first father talk.”  
She stifled a laugh, “Really? Did he go as far to say that if you hurt me he’d hurt you?”  
“No, just that I should hold on tighter this time.” He led her into a twirl then lowered her into a dip,   
“You’ve gotten better.” She noted.  
“I was always a good dancer.”   
“Not this good.”  
A smile played on his lips, “You’re doing well despite the heels.”  
“It’s taking a lot of concentration.” Her eyes darted around the room taking in everything around them. “Security is normal. Doesn’t look like he hired extra for the party.” She stated softly  
“This security is normal?”  
“Well they aren’t usually all here at once. But I can tell you I don’t see anyone new.”  
“Great. Paranoid people are my favorite.”  
“His office is upstairs. You need to have a reason to get up there.” Ward watched as she plotted.  
“Bathroom?”  
“There are plenty downstairs and we need a better excuse that requires more time.”  
They continued dancing as Ward took in more of the room. He’d barely registered Cidney commenting on the room being stuffy when he saw her eyes roll back and she went limp in his arms. Lowering her to the ground Ward listened as people around him gasped. Ward recognized the man from the gate making everyone disperse as he came through the crowd.  
“Is Miss Allan alright?”  
“She needs some air.” Ward lifted her easily into his arms. Her long hair cascaded down and Ward adjusted so her head rested against his shoulder. “Can I lay her down somewhere?”  
The man had Ward follow him and to his joy it was upstairs “Clever girl.” He whispered.  
The man let Ward into a room three doors down from the office. “Is there anything I can do, Sir?”  
A fleeting thought passed through Ward’s head that his concern was nice. “She said the room was getting stuffy. I think she’ll be alright she just needs some air.”  
“I could bring some water.”  
“That’s alright. I’m sure she’ll be fine after her head clears.”  
The man nodded and excused himself. Once alone Ward knelt beside Cidney and caressed her cheek, “Baby you’re amazing.” Her eyes fluttered open and twinkled.  
“I’d hoped that would work. Looks like the Queens to me.”  
“Mission isn’t over yet. And a warning would have been nice.” Ward made his way over to the French doors leading out to the balcony and looked out. Everyone working security was inside and there was enough of a ledge for him to make his way over to the office.  
“Then your reaction wouldn’t have been real. Course you are a good actor.” She recalled. Glancing over the railing after Ward her heart jumped.  
“You’re not going that way are you?”  
“Less likely to get caught that way than wandering the hall.” Ward moved to the balcony and threw his leg over. Cidney clutched her hands to her heart and let out a small gasp. Ward gave her a lazy grin, “Don’t worry sweetheart. I’ve been in worse spots than this.”  
“Just be careful.”  
“I’ll be right back. If anyone comes in tell them-“  
“You’ve gone to get me water or something.”   
“You’d make a good agent.”  
She scoffed. “That’ll never happen.” She glanced over the ledge, “Too afraid of heights. Just be quick and don’t get caught.”  
“Kiss for luck?”  
“You get one if you get back without blowing our cover.”  
“Good motivation.” He started out onto the ledge and Cidney moved away. She didn’t want to watch or distract him. Seconds changed to minutes and they seemed to crawl by as she wore a hole in the rug. After ten minutes she grew concerned. After fifteen worried. Surely there was no way it could take this long. The door opening startled her and she was disappointed to see it wasn’t Grant but Wilson. His usual tidy manner seemed a bit ruffled  
“I came to check on you as soon as I heard. How are you feeling?”  
She gave a false smile, “Much better. I’m not sure what it was…the room just started to feel stuffy and next thing I knew I woke up here.” She spread her hands to indicate the room.  
“Where’s your friend?”  
“Grant? He just went down to get me water.” Cidney answered coolly, “I’m surprised he’s not back yet.”  
Wilson came closer to her and took her face between his hands. “You look a little pale. Are you sure you’re fine?”  
Grasping his hands in hers she pressed them in front of her. “I’m always pale and I feel much better now. Being away from the crowd helped.”  
“I’m glad.” He took her hand to his arm and let her to the door. “Let’s see if we can find Grant. Oh wait! I had a surprise for you. I’d like to show it to you now.”  
“You didn’t have-“  
“Nonsense.” He interrupted leading her down the hallway towards his office. She stumbled when they reached the door and bumped it as Wilson caught her. “Are you alright? You’re not feeling faint again?”  
“I’m so sorry it’s these heels. I’m too clumsy to be wearing these.” She claimed hoping Ward heard the commotion and left.   
“No twisted ankles?”  
“No. I should be steady for the evening. I just need to watch my step.” Cidney passed through the doorway and saw the open window and the safe wasn’t in her line of sight. As she turned the corner what she saw made her choke back a gasp and her face twisted in horror.   
Two of Wilson’s biggest men stood on either side of Ward. Both sported their share of bruises and one was nursing a fat lip and the other what appeared to be a broken nose. But that sight wasn’t what made Cidney sick to her stomach. Ward was forced to his knees between them; a cut over his eye still bled while the other eye was already beginning to turn black, nearly swollen shut. His bottom lip was split and a long cut made it’s way across his cheek. His tux was disheveled and he was holding his side like he’d broken several ribs. Seeing all of this in a few seconds Cidney felt like this time if she fainted it’d be real. His eyes met hers and he gave her a small smirk, somehow that didn’t make her feel much better. She knew Coulson and the team were outside with back up and she wondered why Ward hadn’t called them yet. Her breathing grew shallow when Wilson plucked away her earpiece and stomped it into the floor along with Ward’s.  
Wilson circled her as he drew a gun from under his jacket, “I took you into my home. I treated you like my own child.” He slowly twisted a suppresser onto the barrel of his gun. “You repay me by bringing a thief into my home? Is he that important to you that you’d risk everything for him?”  
Grant grunted as one of the men pulled his head back by his hair. Clenching his jaw he starred at Wilson defiantly. Silent tears rolled down her face as she starred at Ward, “He must be. When I saw him I thought he’d be what Danny would’ve grown to look like. He’s the boy’s father isn’t he? But you left.” He looked at Ward, “You never saw what a charming boy he was.” He pointed the gun at Cidney’s head, “Maybe it’s good the child died. He’d have lost both his parents today.”  
Swiftly Cidney snatched the gun and spun while removing it from his grasp. As she moved Ward attacked the two guards. Pointing the gun at Wilson everything seemed to zero in on him and her, “Don’t you dare talk about Danny.” She commanded.  
“He’d have grown up to be disappointed, Cidney. To find out what his father is and to see that his mother let in the man who left; who abandoned her. That’s what he did isn’t it? Abandoned you? What makes you think he won’t do it again?”  
He lunged at her but fell before he reached her. Startled she saw Ward standing in front of her slowly reaching for the gun.  
“Its okay, Cid. He’s knocked out.” He covered her trembling hands with his and gently took away the gun. “Every thing is okay. You’re safe.” He spoke softly.  
“I….I couldn’t….”   
“You did great. You took control.” Ward assured her, “Look at me.”   
Her eyes snapped up to him and seemed to clear. “You did good. Now I need you to trust me.”  
She nodded while looking over the unconscious men in the room, “Looks like the Kings to you.” her voice barely above a whisper.   
“Mission isn’t over yet.” He snatched up the phone on the desk and dialed quickly, “May, we need a distraction in exactly 90 seconds out front. We’re going out the back.”  
“Copy.” May came in over coms. Ward ran to the trashcan and emptied the contents. Taking the files he’d stolen he placed them in the black trash bag and twisted it so the contents were secure.  
“Okay Cid stay with me. Listen to everything I tell you and I’ll get you out safe and sound. We can’t go out through the party-“  
“You have too many bruises.” She finished  
“Exactly. We need to go out the back okay? That means going over the railing. There’s a pool. Are you okay jumping into it?”  
“Why can’t back up come in?” she felt so confused by all this.  
“Too many civilians in the mix. We’re getting out and they’ll continue the surveillance.”  
“He’s still…he knows I was part of this.” The reality of leaving struck her.  
“I know. We’ll keep you safe but I need you to focus. We’ll talk after. Right now we need to move.”   
She started snapping out of her shock slowly “Your ribs…Grant your ribs are broken.”  
“They’re fine just couple fractures. I’ll be fine I promise.” He pulled her to the balcony. We need to jump in thirty seconds.”  
Cidney followed and tore off her heels. Grant pulled her up onto the ledge and steadied her as she swayed, “When I tell you to I want you to jump out as far as you can”  
She swallowed thickly and nodded. When he heard commotion coming from a seemingly irate Scotsman on the other side of the house he and Cidney leaped into the pool. Cidney swam ahead of him and pulled herself out of the water. Pushing her along the lawn they ran to the wall that surrounded the perimeter. Groaning Ward pulled himself up and seated himself on the top to pull Cidney over. After getting her up he jumped to the other side and turned to help her. Pain etched over her face as she fell forward. He barely caught her on her descent. As she slumped against him blood soaking the back of her dress was the first thing he noticed; then the bullet hole in the back of her shoulder.


	12. After the Party

“She should never have gone in. This mission was stupid from the very beginning! We had her plant a bug when she made the deliveries that should have been enough!” Ward screamed at Coulson, his usual composure was long gone. “We took everything from her. If she lives she has to run and hide from those people.” Once Cidney went into surgery at the trauma center in D.C Ward returned to the plane.  
“She won’t have to leave. After we got you out we received orders to take Wilson into custody. We remained on site and once the party was over we tailed other suspected Project Centipede members and took Wilson.”  
“Are you trying to say this mission was a success?” Ward gritted his teeth, “You could have done all of that without putting her in harms way. So what she can stay in D.C…she got shot Coulson! Her life isn’t going to be the same.”  
“You’re right. She never should have had to go through any of this. I’d hoped that this mission would go smoother with her being on the inside but it didn’t. You two were made so the mission changed. And for that I’m sorry.”  
Ward ran his hand through his hair as he paced Coulson’s office. “Sorry isn’t going to make her okay.”  
“You got her to Simmons fast enough for her to stop the bleeding and get her stable before we got to MedSTAR Trauma.”   
Ward sank into a chair as his head fell into his hands. Everything was his fault. She should be happy, but he hurt her when she trusted him completely. And now after he convinced her to trust him again and she was lying in a hospital.  
“None of this is your fault, Ward.” Coulson assured “You want to blame someone you blame me.” 

……………

Ward sat in the waiting room starring at the clock as the moments passed by. Someone sat in the seat beside him and before he could move away he was stopped by Fitz’s voice, “She’s going to make it, Ward. I think she’s strong enough to make it.”  
Ward accepted the coffee handed to him and glanced over his hands. He’d washed off the blood but it felt like it still lingered. Even though he’d changed on the plane he thought he could still feel his shirt covered in her blood.   
“Queens to me.” Fitz muttered thoughtfully  
“What?” Wards head snapped up and anger flashed through his eyes  
“Queens to me.” Fitz repeated, “She said it after she’d pretended to faint. In the room when you two were alone she said the “looks like the queens to me.’ What does it mean?”  
Ward rolled the cup between his hands, “Ever since I met her she’d make references to books and films.” He sighed and shook his head, “agh at first they drove me crazy. The ones I didn’t get always were added to the list of movies she believed I needed to see. When we first started dating we watched The Count of Monte Cristo. First time she loved a movie and book of the same story equally. ‘We are all kings or pawns’…” he quoted “She loved that they added that to the movie. Whenever one of the main characters had a victory they were king of the moment or they said the kings to you and they’d give up the chess piece. Months later she had a small victory and I told her ‘queens to you.’ After that it sort of stuck…whenever one of us was right about something important to us or one had a success we’d say that. King for me and Queen for her.”   
“It’s been nice seeing you two together.” Ward shifted uncomfortably, “Look I get you don’t like being vulnerable. No one does…I…I’m just saying she brings out a good side of you. It’s been nice seeing you a little more human.”   
“As opposed to…”  
“A closed off Agent who only converses in grunts or very few words.” Ward scoffed at him, “I’m serious. Why do you think Simmons and I talk so much? We have to make up for the lack of yours and Agent May’s.”   
Ward smiled slightly. Despite everything going on and everything he was feeling Ward was glad to have Fitz by his side. “Thanks, Fitz.” 

…..

Even after long hours of waiting Fitz refused to leave. Finally Cidney’s doctor came out to the waiting area.   
“Are you Cidney’s husband?”   
“Yes.” Ward knew that was the only way they’d tell him anything short of him flashing his SHIELD id and keeping a low profile was best.   
“She’s stable but in critical condition. The bullet entered her shoulder joint. We searched the wound and removed all the fragments. The damage was only to soft tissue and muscle and she lost a lot of blood but she’ll be okay. She got lucky, the weapon was low caliber and from a distance, if it was closer it would have been much worse. However, she will need a lot of PT to gain back strength in her shoulder. Even then it won’t be the quite the same.”  
Ward nodded, he knew the road to recovery would be long and frustrating for her but he was just glad she had a chance to get better, “Can I see her?”  
The doctor waved him to follow, “We just moved her down from recovery. The anesthesia is still wearing off so she’s a little out of it.”  
Ward approached her bedside taking in all the wires and tubes coming out of her. He couldn’t help thinking that he should be the one on that hospital bed. Taking her hand he bent and kissed her hair. “Hey sweetheart.” He stroked a stray hair away from her pale forehead.   
“Hey” she whispered to him  
“How are you feeling?”  
“Tired, “ she mumbled, “Nauseous too…they told me that’s from the anesthesia.”  
“It’ll wear off soon.” He promised.  
She nodded slightly and her eyes slowly began to close.  
“I’m here now, Cid.” He swallowed thickly, “I was supposed to protect you.” he whispered, “I let you down…I keep letting you down. You’re the one person I never wanted to hurt and I’ve caused you so much pain. You deserve so much more.”  
“How is she?” Ward started at Coulson voice.   
Ward composed himself quickly, “She…her doctor said most of the damage was soft tissue and muscular. She’ll need PT.”  
“How are you doing?”  
“Fine.”  
Coulson glanced over the agent in front of him. Everyone knew Ward kept things to himself, he wasn’t one to wear his heart on his sleeve but his eyes showed Coulson everything he wanted to know in that moment.  
“I’m not going to pressure you to talk about your feelings over all this. I think that conversation would make us both uncomfortable. I’m here because the team is leaving for a new mission.”  
The ever ready solider inside Ward stood ready to follow orders, “Where are we going?”  
“You’re taking a leave of absence.” Coulson saw the relief that flooded Ward’s eyes. “I want you back of course. But I don’t think abandoning her right now is a good idea. Once she’s alert and on the mend you two need to have a long talk. Then once you two sort things out I need you back.”  
Ward nodded, “Yes sir.”


	13. What Are We?

Cidney fumbled with a jar of jelly. She’d managed the get the cream cheese on her bagel after it finished toasting and decided it wouldn’t be complete without jelly. After several unsuccessful attempts to open the jar she plopped down on the kitchen floor and held it between her feet and twisted the lid. She let out a whoop when the top turned off and stood to complete her breakfast. Triumphantly she took a bite out of her bagel. Her arm was in a sling till the stitches patching her up needed to come out. Unfortunately the sling was also accompanied by a swathe to keep her arm against her body to prevent unnecessary use. And the doctors had assured her that the swathe was necessary. If Ward hadn’t been living with her since she was discharged she’d have taken the swathe off as soon as she got home from the hospital; Ward was always the one about following orders not her. The food helped her temper and she wasn’t worried about the shop, before the mission one of her old employees returned for the summer so she knew her shop was in good hands. At the moment her primary concern was getting a shower. She’d only had sponge baths the past five days and she wanted to wash her hair. The day before she’d considered going to a hairdresser to get it washed but her hair was so awful looking her pride wouldn’t let her. She turned to the sound of the front door opening to reveal Ward coming back from his run; she envied the fact he could go take a shower on his own.  
“Did you sleep any better last night?” Ward kissed her forehead, “You weren’t tossing around as much.”  
“Not really.” She confessed  
“Why didn’t you say something? Was your shoulder hurting?”  
“No point in both of us not being able to sleep. It hasn’t really stopped hurting.” She felt like she was fighting a losing battle. The pain meds made her sick to her stomach and without them her shoulder became the only thing she was really aware of. Motrin and anything else over the counter just didn’t seem to cut it. She turned her bad shoulder away from him and pressed into his side, “I just want sleep and clean hair.” She muttered laying her head on his chest.  
He gave her a sympathetic look, “Go to the hairdressers and have them do it.”  
“No. I look like a bum. I’m not going in public till I look semi presentable.”  
“You look fine.”  
She looked up at him shocked, “Do you not see my hair!? I look like I just dumped oil on my head.”  
He suppressed a laugh and his eyes lit up when he thought of a solution for her, “Come on.” He led her into the bedroom and gently pushed her down onto the bed. “Rest while I get cleaned up. Then we’ll wash your hair.”  
“I don’t think dry shampoo is going to help anymore, Grant.” She said earnestly.  
“Not what I have in mind.” He took her phone and found her favorite playlist. “Relax and I’ll get you fixed up soon. I’ll be ten minutes -tops.”  
“Okay.” She agreed lowering herself onto her back. Closing her eyes she listened as the classic rock Ward turned on softly drifted through the room.  
Three songs later she felt Ward’s hand on hers. “I think that was longer than ten minutes.”  
He guided her into the bathroom and she raised her eyebrows at him, “I had to set this up.”  
Pillows from the couch were leaning against the tub. “It’s not perfect but it will work for a quick wash.” He turned her and had her sit with her back to the tub, leaning back her head rested at the edge of the tub and her back was comfortable. He lifted her head and pushed a folded towel between her neck and the tub’s edge.  
Ward removed the showerhead and began to run the water over her hair. Taking her shampoo he began the challenge of washing the long hair.  
“You’re not doing the scalp massage.” She whined playfully.  
“I’ll get to it.”  
“Good. That’s the greasy part.”  
“I know how to wash hair. You may be surprised to learn I wash my own.” He tapped her forehead lightly, “I’d like to think I do a good job.”  
“Your hair is short. That makes it easy to wash” She hummed happily when he began to massage the shampoo into her scalp.  
After rinsing out the shampoo Ward started to move to conditioner when she stopped him, “Please wash it again.”  
“It’s clean now.” His hand hovered over the conditioner bottle  
“Just one more, please?” she gave him her best puppy dog eyes. “It felt nice.”  
Starting to decline her request she gave him a small pout. He relented with a sigh, “How can I say no.”  
She grinned triumphantly, “Thank you.”  
When he finally finished washing her hair and rinsing out the conditioner Ward squeezed the excess water out, taking a towel he began to gently rub her hair. Leaving the towel around her shoulders he took a hair dryer and began the drying process for her.  
“Grant I can do that.” She insisted.  
He pushed her hand away softly, “I got it.”

………………….  
That evening Ward returned from the grocery store to an empty apartment. Relief flooded over him when he saw her note telling him that she was visiting Danny. Deciding she probably needed space he started putting away groceries. Ward’s mind drifted to his conversation with Coulson at the hospital. He still hadn’t talked to Cidney, the conversation about what they were going to do felt like a dark cloud looming over his head; he wondered if Cidney was thinking about it too when he realized that was a stupid thought. Of course she was thinking about it, the past few days there were already so many moments when she started to say something to him but decided against it. He often caught her watching him carefully, like he would bolt at any moment.  
The door opening pulled him from his thoughts. She wore his old hoodie and it swallowed her small frame. Only her left arm was through the sleeve, her right hidden under the material kept against her body by the swathe. Black, square glasses rested on her nose, she hadn’t bothered trying to put in her contacts that morning. Her hair was in an abysmal braid that Ward assembled that morning under Cidney’s instruction. He knew she didn’t like the braid, it was knotted and hair was slipping from the weave but he secretly thought she looked adorable. Cidney caught Ward staring at her and smirked.  
“I guess I don’t have to wonder if you still think I’m pretty.” She joked  
He stepped close to her and ran his hands over her arms, “You look prettier than you did at the party last week.”  
A blush crept up her face, “Now you’re just telling tales.”  
“No,” he kissed her forehead, “Not in the slightest.” He kissed her nose.  
“Grant what are we?” he stopped, his lips hovering over hers. He opened his eyes and saw her blue ones looking into his for an answer. His hands left her hips and he straightened. Cidney’s breath hitched when he turned away. “Grant? You left not me. And you’re the one who came back into my life….we’ve been falling back into old patterns…you can’t blame me for thinking-“  
“You’re right…I wanted everything to be like it was before I didn’t even stop to think what would happen later…”  
“It’s later, Grant.” She whispered sadly.  
He turned to her, Cidney’s eyes were misted, “I want this…I want you. But I’m still an agent and that means I won’t be able to be here all the time. I could get transferred to a desk job so I could be around more-“  
“You’d hate a desk job.”  
“If it meant I could be with you I’d do it.” He said firmly. “I have no right to ask this…and I know I don’t deserve it…will you give me a second chance?” Cidney paused and he watched as the wheels turned in her head and she weighed everything. “Cid, please….please I-“  
“Yes.” She breathed. “I want it too…I said I forgive you and I meant it.” Grant let out a shaky breath, “But I still don’t trust you like I did.” She confessed.  
“Understood.” He nodded so relieved that he would do anything to earn her trust back. “I’ll put in for a transfer. It might take a while-“  
“Grant,” she hushed “they need you. You can’t leave your team.”  
“They can find another specialist.” He insisted  
She shook her head, “You don’t see how much they care about you. Give it time, you all will get to know each other and you’ll see how much they all care about you.”  
“How are we going to rebuild something if I’m always gone?” His hands rested on her hips.  
“I think it’d be good for us. It’d help keep things slow…we can still talk and you can visit whenever you can. If you stayed I think we’d be trying too hard to make it like before…this will be something new for both of us.”  
“Okay.” He agreed and bent down to kiss her, this time she didn’t stop him.


End file.
